Last weekend, my blog went from it’s usual and pathetic 10-20 hits, thanks mainly to supportive friends and family, to over 23,000. I have found this to be quite overwhelming, and it’s been very hard to post after such a success.
I mean, where do I start? I interviewed the total spunkrat and uber-legend, Facebook God. How do I top that?
I suppose the only thing that might come close would be if Obama walked in my front door and said, “Hi Belinda, I have so much cool stuff to talk to you about. Let’s sit down and chat over a cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit.”
“Sure, Barack. Do you like Tim Tams? You don’t? Right. Get the fuck out of my house. Now.”
I think you can gauge the depth of the problem here. So I thought I would discuss what many people brought up with me in the comments.
Agnosticism. Or, as I like to call it, fence-sitting.
To me, fence-sitting is sensible. Christianity and Atheism are scarily similar – one side of the fence believe in God, the other side do not. But to my mind, the non-belief in God (Atheism) is a belief system, especially because they are starting to behave like organised religions, i.e. meeting together to discuss their beliefs, go to conventions about non-belief, and talk to other non-believers about their non-belief.
Get my drift?
I don’t dare presume to know if there is a God or not. I can neither prove nor disprove the existence of God, so I prefer to ignore both sides and get on with the job of living.
Many moons ago I was a born-again Christian. I know I definitely felt something when I ‘found God’, but I cannot say if that was wishful thinking (as Atheists would suggest) or if it really was the hand of God (as Christians would suggest). But I fell out with the church and organised religion, mainly because I never felt like I fit in in the first place. Lesbians and gay people are friggin’ wonderful, and women are fabulous. But I kept being told that non-heterosexuals were an abomination, and that women were second to men. So I fucked that shit off. And it has shaped my current thoughts on the matter (plus my slight antagonism towards Chrisitians, which is something I am trying to get past).
I read and I discussed. I finally came to my own conclusions, personal though they are.
Do you know that feeling you get when you go to see your favourite rock band? There are 20,000 of you in the arena, and as one entity you are loving this band. There is a feeling in the air, an electricity; it’s so real, you could almost reach out and touch it. And that, my friends, is where I think energy is. (Some may call this God. I don’t.) Within the mass-consciousness is an amazing energy. With this energy, we can change, and indeed have changed, the world. This energy is a gathering of our auras; a collection of our emotions and feelings. It is extremely powerful, and it has overthrown goverments and forced incredible social change.
WE are the power, the collective power. And we together form that energy when we stand as one. When we are too disparate, we end up with the governments we deserve, the wars we allow the powers-that-be to wage, and all the horrors that are performed in the name of God.
So yeah, I’m a fence sitter. I can neither prove nor disprove the existence of God, nor whether or not He/She/It lies in the energy of our mass-consciousness (it’s only a theory).
While the rest of the world battle each other over ‘right’ versus ‘wrong’, I sit on the fence, chewing a blade of grass, and think. I look to the corners of the earth and see the beauty – the oyster grey-blue of the mountains in the distance, the birds darting from tree to tree, and the butterflies fluttering through the wildflowers.
I feel the warmth of the sun on my skin, and inhale the fresh, clear air oh-so-deeply, and I am grateful that I am here, on this planet, in this moment. The existence or non-existence of God is irrelevant. Life is beautiful, and we should simply live it, enjoy it, savour it, languish in it.